Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
