Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
