i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Semen is not good for contacts.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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