with your own penis?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
