You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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