Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
God I need to hump something, right now.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
