Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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