So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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