i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
