You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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