oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
