The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
