So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
