And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
