plz talk dirty to me
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize