hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Randomize
