White coat. Heels.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
