I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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