can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
