I feel great
I just peed on a car
my sisters under your porch take her home
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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