I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
