if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
