I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I intend to get homeless drunk
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
