I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
