how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
