Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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