Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
