jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I checked into jail on foursquare
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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