your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
We don't watch enough power rangers
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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