i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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