i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
