What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
