Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
