She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
