so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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