Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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