Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
