Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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