Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
