She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
