he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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