No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
two words...techno handjob
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
