You're a womanizer and a bitch.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
