you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize