Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
