how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
