yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize