her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
is wine microwaveable?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize