OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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