ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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