we have pet lesbian snakes
im about as happy as oj after his trial
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
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