I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
jump out the window naked night went bad
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
