Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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