so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize