theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
