It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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