I think im going to throw up on grandma
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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