is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
zippers are such a cool invention
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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