I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
