pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I just want to make out with him forever
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
