Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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