my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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