Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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