We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
