end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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