just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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